We all influence each other...subconsciously

Swearing

I work closely with at least one compulsive, foul-mouthed but professional, high-disciplined engineer. After three months, I found myself swearing under my breath in French, German and Russian.

I've had a swearing habit for more than once in my life. It's always a lot of fun, because I learnt very early on, that swearing is great, as long as it is never out of anger.

I've seen many people who don't see this and think venting actually helps one feel happy. It doesn't. It's just a release of energy, which wires you to be angry easier next time, and makes it harder to be truly content.

And as fast as I learn to swear, I stop just as fast. It depends on who you hang out with.


Head Scratching

For a few weeks last month, I had a dandruff scratchy head problem. I'd find myself scratching my head every single time I needed to think deeply.

And then, I found that the guys on the next desk, who I've bonded deeply with, started to scratch their heads en masse, so much that their keyboards were littered with lint.


Staring into space -> into people

Staring into space is generally ok, as long as you're not staring right at someone else. Staring at someone's head and tracing the outline of their ears is considered weird at least and disturbing at most.

But I love to do that. I remember the many exams I've had to take and everytime I had to think, I'd stare at other people, usually people I believed to be smarter than me. This of course was considered possible cheating, so I always had to dart from one back of the head to the next.

And these few days, I saw my colleagues staring at me while they were thinking for tasks directly related to me. It's been very disturbing and I always make a point of staring right back at them.

Conclusion.

I have always suspected that people influence each other in subtle ways. And it's everywhere and it's totally true.

On a deeper level, these habits are generally not socially accepted, at least not at the highest level.
What do I mean by the highest level? Mating rituals and community acceptance. To our primal psychology, there is nothing more important than mating and passing down the genes. And swearing (un-cultured), head scratching (low confidence?), staring into space -> into people (creepiness) none of these behaviors are universal signs which tell potential mates that you're a good mate.

What I did manage to do is give them permission and decrease the social costs of these behaviors, after which they discover the benefits of these behaviors.

Perhaps it is in granting each other the freedom of social risks to be whoever we want to be, that bonds are built.