Can Man and Woman be Purely Friends?

THE CHAT:

And the main topic of the whole time was whether men and women can be purely friends?!

Eugene Wong
I argued that friendship just had many levels.
and expressions.
Samuel Poon
walking in the rain => pretty tough
was your band of friends just guys?
Eugene Wong
no, 2 guys and 1 gal. (I feel weird calling a female 5 years older than I am a girl)
Samuel Poon
outcome ? [;)]
Eugene Wong
She stubbornly insists it is possible. I personally think this sort of platonic attraction is really difficult for MEN and WOMEN.
The other guy got bored and started playing with his many camera lens.
Samuel Poon
lol
i understand the difficulty
i dont' think it's impossible
though
Eugene Wong
The thing is, our definition of friends are different
Samuel Poon
gay people probably wont have much problems
i wont have problems with my sister
then it's a bit out of your scope
Eugene Wong
Of course. It was about heterosexuals and previously strangers.
I think women use their idea of friendship with other women when friends with men, and same with men.
And then they expect it to work.
And are surprised when it doesn't, because we think differently and there can be attraction.
I surprised myself even, when I personally said "Why would a man and a woman want to be just friends if they really have so much interests and values in common, that brings them together? Is it so terrible to not be purely friends?, or is it not better to be more than just friends?"
Samuel Poon
they could already have a spouse
Eugene Wong
but that doesn't mean they are purely friends, at least they may not see each other as just that.
Of course, that's where things can clash, but that's what some people inevitably run into.
And if all fails, you could always "pretend" to be just friends, as some people pretend to like each other

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The definition of friends is really different from one to another.
The nature of the relationship is viewed from 3 perspectives - the 2 people involved each have their own and sometimes different views of the relationship. the outsider's view is the third.
A person in this friendship may be attracted to the other but the other person may not be attracted, yet A person may believe self to be attractive to the other.

The person who is unattracted to the other and also does not feel that the other is attracted to him/her will see that it is a friendship. The other combinations (eg. attracted to / is attractive to) are not friendships.

A friendship, among all other things, means different things to different people, and the difference is not necessarily communicated.